I LOVE Christmas. Anyone that knows me will tell you I go all out - the house is decorated from top to bottom with enough twinkling fairy lights to short circuit the National Grid. But this isn't everybody's story and experience. For some the Christmas period looms like a dark cloud. Christmas isn't for everyone.
Christmas may be a trigger for Teens that have experienced Adverse Childhood Experiences and for those that live in poverty it becomes a daily reminder of exactly what the media and friends tell them they are missing out on. "What you doing for Christmas?" "What's your mum and dad getting you for Christmas?" "I can't wait for a fat Christmas lunch" "Do you get a stocking or just presents under the tree?" "I get fed up of having to see all the family, it's so awkward" "When are you putting your decorations up?"...... all of these questions and statements may bring feelings of extreme sadness, isolation, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness, anxiety, stress - a feeling that no one else will understand why some young people dread this time of year more than any other. For young people in foster care, who are bereaved, live with domestic violence, have parents that misuse alcohol or drugs, those that have child protection issues at home, live with their own or a family member's mental health issues and are in need, Christmas holidays can often mean difficulties are exacerbated and home life feels even more unbearable. Teens become experts at covering up how they are really feeling and pretending everything is fine - joining in (or seeming to) with the excitement of the festive season and giving into the pressure to be cheerful.
What can you do?
Working with young people in any capacity means that we need to be considerate and sensitive to their needs and experiences. Being mindful of the things we say and how we say them is a great place to start. Avoid asking the usual questions - " what are you doing for Christmas?" - and avoid talking too much about your own plans and building excitement. Make sure there is some extra time to listen when a young person wants to talk and that they know how and where to go for help if needed. Talk to them about the increased risk of and drug/alcohol misuse and risky behaviours. Make sure that other professionals are aware of the family/child and able to offer support when schools are shut for the holidays. School is often a place of safety and sanctuary and breaks can be hard to cope with. When holidays are over and students are back to school remember the questions everyone is asking are just as difficult as they were before the Christmas break - "How was your Christmas?" "What did you do for Christmas?" "Did you get some good presents?". Instead welcome them back and let them know it's good to see them.
If you know a young person that could do with some extra support at Christmas or who you are worried about don't leave it too late - consider what you could do to help and take time to listen and make their journey through this difficult time a little easier.
Useful links for young people in crisis:
https://www.buckssafeguarding.org.uk/blog/2021/11/mental-health-support-24-7-crisis-line/
Shout Text SHOUT to 85258
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